Ventilation

Sometimes I just want to get away from all the things I know. I think it’s just a need to reboot and forget a lot of the things that cause any sort of turmoil in my life.

People are funny to me. They always seemed to have a way to only care about what they want, which I guess is good for survival, not so much so for nurturing relationships. Try asking how someone is doing and is everything cool before you begin to try to push someone in a corner to prove a point that really is of no matter.

The last few weeks have been mentally exhausting for me with a few sprinkles of success here and there. My dude Sonny slid through and dropped a verse on this project that I’m releasing….so that’s a win. I finally got my car back up to par and looking decent…..that’s a win!!! Most importantly I spoke with my daughter for the first time in a couple of months….that’s the greatest thing I’ve had happen lately.

Speaking to her changed my entire outlook on a lot of things needless to say. In closing, have a heart because you never know what someone goes through. Try understanding for a change because people really get tired of hearing about their flaws when the only reason their flaw was brought up was to prove a meaningless point.

Life’s too short….don’t push people over the edge!!!

Games

I see very clearly and pay attention to the details. Life is not a game so at times I wonder why some people choose to play around.

Decide what you want out of life and go for it. If what you want doesn’t involve others that’s fine. Let them go so that they can find their own way through life.

The funny thing is people have a tendency to try to make you feel guilty because they have issues. They will tell you everything that is wrong with you and how whatever that may be is the reason things are the way that they are.
Learn that these people don’t have your best interest in mind.

More times than not, if a person spent more time being honest with themselves instead of telling you how they honestly feel…things would be a whole lot better!!!!!

With that said, I’m looking forward to finding mine….and when I do….POOF!!!! I’m gone!!!

Venting

As always, when nearing the end of completing an album the frustrations arise making it difficult to stay focused. Unlike artists who have backing all the work is pretty much left up to me. The only thing I didn’t do is all the production work on this album. I decided to recruit the help of three more producers to help me with this project.

Long story short I’m an independent artist and one of the producers wants me to delay putting the album out for the sake of making a mixtape to help promote. I personally do not care to make a mixtape because I take pride in my art and mixtapes to me have always been watered down product. Besides, so people don’t understand as an artist who writes you have to be inspired to make new music. My last bit of inspiration has been depleted due to this album. I’ve written everything that I have been dealing with for the past few years and places it on this project. I have nothing left to give pretty much.

Inspiration for me comes from living life and learning and you can’t rush that. I’m confident this is my best work to date and it can stand up there with the best. I couldn’t have done it without the help of the contributing producers and the push they gave me.

With that said, I refuse to believe that this body of work in itself is not good enough to stand alone without the help of a mediocre mixtape to appease an audience who otherwise would not listen to my music. I refuse to go back in the mode of recording when I know that it is unnecessary. I’m not fond of being called lazy when at the end of the day I worked my ass off writing, recording myself, mixing by myself, and formatting this album by myself. I’m not in the mood to push back a project for a little longer for the sake of making something that has nothing to do with the albums concept.

It’s funny but…..I’m not signed to a major or a minor but I’m still having to deal with the headaches of others ideas of how to successfully put this project out. For me it would be one of those issues of putting way more stress on myself while no one else has to put in that work…..I just can’t do it right now.

It’s time to release it….I’ve held up that process long enough already trying to put more songs on the album. None of which made it because they didn’t fit the concept. The original release date was scheduled for spring but due to the fact my folks wanted 14 to 16 tracks we went back to the drawing board. At the end of the day the same 12 cuts that originally were on the album are the only tracks that made it. The only other cut added was the intro.

All in all, this is the type shit that makes you not want to do music for the sake of putting it out. However, in my mind it’s a classic and it deserves to be heard by those who chose to listen in hopes of hearing a good hip hop album.

Well, that’s all. I don’t want to vent any further. The final basketball game of the season is coming on in a few minutes and I need to get my mind right to see what’s going to happen tonight.

No worries though, it’s coming because I’m done with it.

Stay up!!!!

Peace!!!!

Respect

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Sometimes you have to reflect on your own life and take things into perspective. When you try to be the very best person you can be and it no longer plays out in your favor you have to realize one thing. Everyone will not appreciate the things you do.

It is at this point you have to decide what to do. You can continue to be the nice person or you can become the bad guy. The choice is yours to make but know that sometimes people need to see your bad side in order to properly gauge the relationship they share with you.

It’s about taking back control once a person has come to the conclusion that they control you. People become accustomed to a certain reaction from you when your reaction remains constant. Change your reaction and you change the way they deal with you.

In my case I’m a funny, witty, talkative, and caring person 95 percent of the time so people get used to seeing me in that light. When I’m fed up with you I quit talking and go into an anti-social state and just like that, I take back the control. I figure it’s easier to show you how you have wronged me by giving you time to not deal with me on my terms and allow you to backtrack on what you did to make my opposite side shine through.

One way or another I will get my respect and if you can’t respect that then I will take back the respect that I gave you.